It wasn’t my fault! Okay…maybe it was my fault.

Buy good tires: they’re worth it.

Choose a suitably-sized machine.

Focus where you want to ride — not where you don’t.

They call them “street bikes” for a reason. Stay on the street.

Keep your valves adjusted to proper tolerances.

Remember where you parked.

Learn to identify local flora.

The map is correct; your “instinct” is not.

Don’t pretend you know how to weld.

Watch out for rocks.

Maintain your controls in top condition.

If you find a woman who’s actually willing to ride into the desert with you, don’t expect her to cook.

Bring soap.

Follow the wisdom of the animals.

Learn basic repair techniques, such as inserting your head into the engine.

Avoid riding in forest fires.

Pack light.

Ensure adequate salt intake.

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